No One Likes a Tattle Tale
Op-ed
It saddens me to say that I was raised in an environment which demeans and patronizes me every single day for being a woman. Writing about this is difficult because I was raised to believe that I must not speak up about sexual, verbal or emotional abuse. I have looked past an enormous amount of harassment throughout my life, most of the time not realizing how horribly I was being treated. And this is due to a single fact: my culture. In the Bible, there is a saying that God first created Adam, and when Adam felt alone in the Garden of Eden, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve. For most people in my country, this is interpreted as meaning that women are created as helpers for men. Another interpretation of this is that since women are created from a rib, they must be “brainless.” I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this from a man in Georgia, as most women do.
The word “woman,” may sound innocent, but for me the word woman means that you have to compromise on everything you do in life. Every single day you must compromise on the clothes you really want to wear, the words you truly want to speak, and even who you choose to have intimate relationships with. If a skirt is too short, she’s inappropriate. If she decides to swear, she is vulgar. And if she decides to maintain a sexual relationship while unmarried, then she is a “tramp.” However, there is no equivalent language that can describe similar men’s behavior. It is a double standard.
“No one likes a tattle tale,” is what I heard while growing up. When a boy bit me, when he took my doll, when he laughed at my body, I was forced into silence by the adults around me. “If he’s mean to you, he likes you.” That is simply not true and encourages young women to be with men who mistreat them and abuse them. On the surface, Georgian men seem like gentlemen who respect women; however, the falseness of this stereotype shows through and is evident in the actions they perform.
One night I was gathered with a few friends and one girl said that she would have loved to have been taller. Two men turned around and said that men don’t like tall girls, a comment spoken in a snarky, confident voice. I was shocked because the girl did not say anything, as if she hadn’t realized the comment was actually insulting. So I spoke up and they immediately realized that what they had said was wrong. I encourage all women to notice these flawed perceptions that men have towards women and say whatever you feel in the moment. And no, it won’t make you a crazy feminist as everyone in Georgia might assume: it makes you a stronger human being.
The saying goes: “No one likes a tattle tale;” however, if you are being abused, sexually, verbally or emotionally, there is no reason why you should not speak up. It is truly terrifying when most people don’t believe you, tell you to get over it or that it can’t be so bad. Yet, there are a lot of women who go through similar experiences and I believe it’s time to get together and get vocal about it!
By Cathrine Salby