Svaneti, You Know I Love You, But...

Herewith, a few of my possible future Svaneti article titles and synopses. I might expand on the ones which get the greatest number of favorable votes.

Manure, its Originator Species, Forms, Handling and Uses

1000 English Words or Phrases for H2O in its Various Phases (Inspired and Challenged by the Idea of 100 or more Inuit Words for Snow, which We can Better!)

Unusual Theories from and/or about Svaneti, including: The Svans are related to the Basques/Sumerians/Armenians (Svan surnames ending in “iani”, Armenian ones in “ian” or “yan”...)

Unusual Uses for Domestic Animal Intestines, Stomachs, Bones, Hides and Other Sundry Parts

How Rubbish Improves the Landscape: Creative Public Ways with Your Indestructibles

A Survey of the Historic Fine Arts of Svaneti: Works in Wood, Metal, Stone, Revenge and Bride Kidnap

How to Tell if a Dog Really Wants to Kill You (and What to Do About it)

A List, from Most to Least Probable, of all Observed Ways the Piped House Water can Freeze either En Route or At Destination, each Including Preferred Prevention Methods (or Causation Methods in Case of Desire to Attack one’s Neighbor)

The Svan Watchtower: A List of Actual and Possible Uses/Functions, from Watching for Invaders to Attacking One’s Closest Neighbor with Rocks

How to “Shave” one’s Slaughtered Pig with a Gas Torch (an Original YouTube Instruction Video)

1000+ Ways with Potatoes

Uses for the Automobile Seat Belt (Aside from the Unfashionable Intended One)

What to Say at the Funeral of one’s Insistently Drunk Driving Friend in lieu of “You Idiot, I Spit on your Grave”

Best Actually Encountered Excuses for Truancy from School

Is Mestia’s Seti Square the Secret HQ of World Alien Life Search Efforts? An Investigation

Preferred Ways to Restrain Someone who has Eaten Honey made from “the Flower that Makes one Crazy”

How to Resolve the Paradox between “A Woman Must Enter Marriage a Virgin” and “A Man Must Not ditto”

Why Global Warming is Resulting in Longer Svan Winters

A Survey of Bovine Thoughts on the Conversion of Mestia Commercial Center into their Preferred Local Toilet Zone

Bus Stop or Cow Shade and Toilet? The Controversy Resolved

How to Smoke on Public Transport

Best Ingredients for Bovine Repellent

Cow Clucks, Chicken Martial Arts Move Vocalizations and Other Unusual Farmyard Sounds

Bovines as Traffic Calming Officers: a Debate on the Project’s Success or Failure

A Graph of Found Rock-fall Numbers Plotted against Actual Times Waited to See a Single Rock Fall

Suggested Forms for Mt. Ushba to Take when Not Being Observed

The Secret Meaning of When a Bovine Lowers its Head to You (not “I Respect You”)

Tony Hanmer runs the “Svaneti Renaissance” Facebook group, now with over 1300 members, at

www.facebook.com/groups/SvanetiRenaissance/

He and his wife also run their own guest house in Etseri:

www.facebook.com/hanmer.house.svaneti

Tony Hanmer