Letters to Debbie Lee

Dear Debbie Lee,

I am a severe nut allergy sufferer who has won a trip to the Republic of Georgia. I am, however, a little concerned after reading up on the national cuisine, as delicious as it sounds. Should I be?

Sincerely,

Nuts and Die

 

Dear N.A.D.,

Just two words.

Don’t even.

To elaborate, the breath of anyone who has lived here falling on you may prove fatal. Georgia has a great many things going for it, including a truly fabulous and much underrated cuisine; but a good atmosphere for sufferers such as yourself is not one of these things. The country is positively suffused with walnut and hazelnut exhalations particularly. I greatly sympathize, but consider yourself exiled for life and try to pass on your winnings to another person not so tragically afflicted. Unless, of course, you DO have a death wish.

Sorrowfully,

DL

 

Dear Debbie Lee,

As a several years’ resident of Upper Svaneti, I admit to being puzzled about whether the towers of Mestia or Ushguli are older in general. Mestia’s are very regular, similarly sized and shaped, with almost all having two or three “eye” windows on each side. Ushguli’s are much more varied in form, with some much taller or squatter, and have anywhere from one to SIX “eyes” per side. So did the standardization happen first in Mestia, followed by a period of boredom and experimentation in Ushguli? Or did they play with the form first in Ushguli, then standardize it for Mestia?

Thanks,

Tower Troubled

 

Dear TT,

My sources tell me that this battle for the great prestige of having the older set of towers will be won by... nobody. What actually happened was a simultaneous “building battle,” with the two communities simply choosing different approaches to the problem of tower construction all those many centuries ago. The literature has nothing to say about this because “they weren’t talking to each other” (or anyone else) for more centuries following this period.

Sincerely,

DL

 

Dear DL,

Can you tell me why khashi (a soup of tripe and trotters in milk & garlic) is the preferred Georgian hangover remedy?

Sincerely,

Dizzy and Vomiting Endlessly

 

Dear DAVE,

Simply this: it’s not supposed to be a cure, it’s supposed to be a preventative. Really, if you knew that you had this coming, would you dare to get drunk at all?

Sincerely,

DL

 

Dear DL,

I’ve heard that the Svans use, and even sell, “chewing gum” made from pine tree sap. Is this true?

Sincerely,

PineSol Anyone?

Dear PSA?,

All too true. A couple of further notes on the subject for your interest are that: 1) before chewing it, if you need to you can start a fire with it; and 2) after chewing it, a reaction with your saliva will turn it from amber color to purple. Please note that these two points necessarily exclude each other.

Sincerely,

DL (Dirol Lover)

Dear DL,

Do you know anything about the origin of the first Georgian alphabet, the one made entirely (and most beautifully) of straight lines and sections of circles? SO geometric!

Sincerely,

OmegaBet

Dear OB,

The National Library in Tbilisi has in its archives an ancient stone version of one of those 3x3 sliding square tile puzzles, you know, the ones with one tile missing so you can slide the remaining eight around to any position? On its tiles are the lines and curves you like so much, and combinations of them make every letter in that deservedly praiseworthy alphabet. Who would have guessed?

Sincerely,

DL (DeLighted)

 

Dear DL,

How can chickens bear to peck through cow manure for seeds to eat?! I’ve seen this myself!

Sincerely,

Disgusted and Horrified

 

Dear DAH,

Hmmm, and we humans consider the most expensive coffee on the planet to be that made from beans which have passed entirely through the body of certain wild cats in South-East Asia. Google it: it’s a thing, which it should be at $50 a cup or more.

Sincerely,

DL the Unsurprised

Tony Hanmer runs the “Svaneti Renaissance” Facebook group, now with over 1300 members, at

www.facebook.com/groups/SvanetiRenaissance/

He and his wife also run their own guest house in Etseri:

www.facebook.com/hanmer.house.svaneti

Tony Hanmer

23 June 2016 22:38